high on life

Dreams swirling, screaming, drowning out my fear
overcoming reality, what’s really real isn’t there
fantasy, illusions, they’re all but delusions
dreaming this dream, a sweet yarn spun upon the thread
sleeping into reality, what’s really real isn’t quite there
awaken to that sweet blissful dream, a familiar song
beginning again, birthing the day a new, a daze, a blur, a sweet tune
such a dream with so much uncertainty, sleeping, resting
to see reality, a truth apparent to all but none
something I see isn’t quite there, dreaming a dream
living in reality, seeing all and the only apparent truth
living in such a daze, reality is fading, living this blissful dream
during the days, what’s really there isn’t quite real
how can this physicality, this actuality
be a delusion, illusion, sick twisted fantasy
this life I don’t control, this dream of mine
Welcome the day anew in my world, this reality
the one and only apparent truth, my dream, my reality, my world
this life, this daze, just a dream all a bit too real

i wanna fly

in the crystal blue yonder

i ache to be free

the amber light dancing on the hills

plays such a sweet melody

the crisp air, the golden lush

as the breeze flows, the leaves fall

the grass is green and my eyes fall

on the delicate sun, ablaze in the sky

the hues of sunset, the cries of sunrise

so beautiful, like a sweet lullaby

changing colors, changing moods

with the crisp air brings autumn schnooze

the chill that crawls, the warmth that bundles

as you hold your friend close, hold your lover closer

i wanna fly into the blue yonder

so clear, without fail, i’ll open my mind and set sail

chorus

my game to fame, take it in stride cause i’ll never die

your children will know me, your grandkids will die

you’ll never know my name, this life immortal

you live a life of misery, but realize, that i’ll never die.

—-

I’m gonna be the man you never knew existed

cause you’re the one i never wanna let go

I’ll make it right

even if it takes all night

Tossing and turning

your head’s in a daze

But your heart knows

today’s the day

Flowing smoothly, flowing easily
dreams are all but a reality
I’ve set my sights high, and I intend to soar to the sky
but without you to hold my hand I fear I’ll be lost, and never found
I’m taking off, lifting up, loosening my grip
and it pains me to leave you here, this cold desolate world
won’t you please, won’t you come with me
the things we could see, the places we could be
see that which has never been seen
feel that which has never been felt
something so pure, so true, something that was made only for me
and you can’t you see, this beauty, this place to be
I can’t be there alone, without you
dreams, flowing into reality
dreams, together achievable
dreams, unstoppable, untouchable, purely
you and me

Habituality

Insanity may be doing the same thing, expecting different results, but what is it called when you do the same thing day in and day out, without expecting anything?  Unconscious behavior shapes most of our day to day life, also known as the routine, the daily grind, habits, idiosynachries, and so on.

Our day to day life is governed by habits, whether we realize it or not.  The little things we do, like gnaw our teeth, or where we sit, or what we do right before we take a shower, to the big things such as when we eat, what we eat, where we go, how we get there.  Not all habits are bad, but life is a series of repetitions and it’s only easy to realize once we try to break one of those repetitions.  By trying to break a repetition, it becomes painstakingly obvious that a lot of what we do is a repetition of some sort.  Even if we don’t need to do something, we do it anyway, only because we’re used to. 

Breaking a habit is simply a matter of identifying when you do it, and telling yourself to stop.  The realization comes from the fact that you become accustomed to identifying something you do all the time, something so second nature, you think to yourself, huh, I’ve done this every single time I’m about to do that.  Whatever this or that may be, we all have this in some way shape or form.  Some of the things can be avoided, simply by avoiding the situations that cause the habit, but most cannot.

The only way to break these chains that run through our lives is to simply sit and think about it.  Slow your mind down, you can’t get caught up in the heat of the day, or the stress that builds up.  You absolutely need to sit and think, let your brain relax, the slower your thoughts, the more meaningful, and powerful they are.  The slower you’re thoughts the clearer they are, they aren’t frantic, hectic, or chaotic.

For further reading on my specific situation, read on below, otherwise, remember - You define who you are, do not let your habits define you or your life.

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Impulsivity

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” - Albert Einstein

Impulsivity is almost the same thing as insanity then, with one slight difference.  You do the same thing over and over again sure, but you’re not exactly expecting a different result, you may not even be expecting anything.

The problem with impulsive behavior is that, whether it is wrong or right, you do it anyway, over and over again for no apparent reason other than, just because.  Realizing impulsive behavior isn’t just enough to solve it, there has to be a way to work through the impulsivity so to speak to find a solution.  For many people this is hard; especially hard.  Procrastinators know they need to do work, yet they still do whatever it is they want to do rather than work.  They do this for their countless assignments over and over again.  They certainly don’t expect their work to be finished without them touching it, yet they still procrastinate, knowing their work will never be done. 

What about those people that habitually check each nook and cranny, sure that impulsiveness doesn’t do much harm, but, they expect everything to be tip top, and if it’s not, they expect to find it. They don’t expect to find 500,000$ just because they impulsively check each nook and cranny of their house before they leave, but that’s just how it is. 

If you want to get rid of your impulsivity, it’s a very hard thing to do, and it may take years before you can even mentally prepare yourself to take it on.  But the most important thing to realize, if applicable, is that your impulsive behavior is doing harm.  Once you realize this, it’s easy to remind yourself of the pain, both physical and emotional, both now and in the future.  At this point it’s crucial to set reminders everywhere you go.  The more effort you put into reminding yourself, the better your chances.  You can’t just NOT do it, that’s almost like telling someone to NOT breathe.  But if every time you do what makes you impulsive, you see that little reminder you gave yourself, the drive not to do it becomes stronger, as does the guilt during.  With that, hopefully you can wean yourself off.

Priorities

A fickle thing to deal with, something seeminly so simple yet so hard for a few.  Priorities are all about getting your life straight, doing what needs to be done first, worrying about the rest next.

The problem with priorities, is that even when we set them, we change them.  We’ll say we’re going to sit down and do this, or that, but we end up doing something completely different only because, well we feel like it.  Only thing is, it’s not a matter of doing what you feel like, it’s a matter of not doing what you don’t feel like doing.  This is the simple truth we have to face, we have to do what we don’t want to do, just so we can keep doing that which we want to. 

Look at it this way, if you don’t take care of your body, and constantly eat really really junky foods, you’ll either become afflicted with obesity, or some problem associated with eating (diabetes, cholesterol, heart attacks, etc)  While it won’t necessarily kill you to eat junky food, it can prevent you from doing what you love later on in life. Especially if what you love is to eat junky foods.  This analogy holds true for almost everything, don’t do your school work? Won’t have a future to pay for the things you want to do.  Don’t do the things you don’t want to do? You might not get to meet the people who want to do the things you do want to.

I get it, it’s hard to do the things you don’t want to do, but that’s life.  If you never do those things, then how can you possibly do anything else?  Life is about variety, about being able to do a multitude of things.  If you can’t sit down and start something simple, how can anyone expect you to do anything else.

Take a look at your priorities, make sure you get them straight.  Don’t look to the now, look to years down the road too..

Love is fleeting

Grab ahold and never let go.  Take it from me, this complicated thing, this desire of many, so precious, so treasured.  The good outweighs the bad, the highs are higher than the lows.

It’s so simple a feeling, that feeling that you belong.  Learn to open your heart, and your mind, let love flow freely to and fro.  Don’t be so close minded in matters of the heart, you can love, it’s not that hard.  

It is better to love and be loved, than to never have loved at all

or as Tennyson puts it,

‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all

This doesn’t apply to old age, nor to those on their deathbed, nor to those single for years, nor to those divorced, widowed, separated, whatever.  This applies to you, the reader, whether you love, are loved, or do not love at all.  Take everything in full stride, even those that may hurt you most.  If you feel such a way about someone, tell them, let them know somehow, don’t hide behind your fears, your sorrows.  Heartbreak happens all the time, it happens to everyone, and it’s not devastating.  Love does not have to have an end goal, it doesn’t have to be a definite thing.  Love can be fleeting, it can be weeks, months, or even years.  It’s never permanent by any means, so open your heart, and welcome love, it makes us stronger, and it makes us happier.  To hold a hand, to wrap someone in an embrace, to care for someone, to be cared for, to protect, to hold, the warmth of love, warms even the darkest of days.

How to change the world

How can you change the world?? The world is a very big place, it is very round, and very blue.

There are a lot of people on this world, how can you possibly change them all? The answer to this question, this complicated design is simply..

..you don’t.

You start by changing yourself, you start by living the way you want to live, you start by doing what makes you happy.  Once you’ve done this, you start by sharing your happiness with the world.  The more you can share, without losing yourself, the more you can help.  Truly, the secret to almost everything, comes from within.  How can you expect to help someone, without first helping yourself?  Don’t be afraid to take help from other people, especially when you know you’ll help someone else.  Just helping one person, can help them help the next person, and so on on a continuing chain.  Paying it forward happens, whether you see it, whether you believe it.  It’s one of those forces of nature we’ll never understand or comprehend, but if you truly have good in your heart, if your mind is truly open you can see that you can’t change the world, but you can by doing it one by one, and starting with yourself